phillip , 31,
Male seeking Female,
Mount Gambier,
AU
Hobbies / Interests / ActivitiesMusic, To My Dearest Wife,During the past year, I have attempted to make love to you 365 times. I have succeeded 36 times, which is an average of only once every 10 days. The following is a list of why I didn't succeed more often:We will wake the kids - 54 times, Why does a round pizza come in a square box? Why doesn`t glue stick to its bottle? Why do you still call it a building when its already built? If you aren`t suppose to drink and drive, why do bars have parking lots? funny world., Math is the only place where I hear someone doing ridiculous things. FOR EXAMPLE, "John has 30 chocolate bars, he eats 23, what does he have now?" DIABETES?? MAYBE???!!!, Mom: Where were you last night? Son: Studying with my friends. Mom: Don`t lie. Son: Alright, I was at a stripper club. Mom: DID YOU SEE ANYTHING THERE THAT YOU WERE NOT SUPPOSED TO SEE?!?!? Son: yeh...I saw dad., The teacher asks Timmy "why is your cat at school today?" Timmy says, crying "Because I heard my daddy say to my mommy Im going to eat that pussy when the kids leave. so I m saving him!", Coming home at 4.30am after a night out drinking, and deciding that the most logical and sensible thing to do is to.....send some texts....Like, who wouldnt wanna hear from you at that time, especially when youre intoxicated?, Throwing everything off the bed onto the floor when you return hammered., Dont call me moody when its your bloody fault im in a mood., Few people have Swine Flu and everyone starts wearing masks. Millions of people have AIDS and no-one wears condoms. Stupidity., Cars, Motorcycles, Poker, Horse riding, Mountain Climbing, Association football
Favorite MusicMy Darkest Days, Porn star dancing, You might be able to shuffle, but I can do The Nutbush, "You have enemies? Good, that means you stood up for something." - Eminem, "WhEn I'm RighT n0 0ne reMemBers BuT WhEn I'm wR0ng n0 0nE foRgEts'', Eminem, I tried to tell Justin Bieber he was gay but he hit me with his handbag, "Kitten Heels, Lingerie, Pantyhose, Foreplay, Legs up, on the bar, in the back of your car, latex, champagne, bubble bath, whipped cream, cherry pop tag team, can you make me scream, The Offspring, Margot Waterhouse Recording Artist, Disturbed, Nickelback, Guns N' Roses, AC/DC, Metallica, Pearl Jam, Singing random lyrics of random Songs at random times
Favorite TV ShowsOfficial Big Brother Australia, The Voice Australia, The Simpsons, Red Dwarf, Can Of Worms, Dear Karma, i have a list of people you missed., Looney Tunes, South Park, Futurama, Family Guy